Accessory after the Kat: competition result

Accessory after the Kat. The IPKat has been a little slow to post the winner of the "Must-Have IP Accessory" competition, for which the prize is complimentary admission to next Tuesday’s “Handbags at Dawn” conference on intellectual property in the fashion industry (details here)—as well as the proverbial free lunch. This competition attracted many entries, of which a surprisingly large number nominated as the must-have accessory an iKat. Although these entries were all entirely commendable, they couldn’t all win the prize so, after consultation with Merpel, it was decided that the prize would go to an accessory that didn’t have the Kat motif. The Kats also received several nominations for intellectual property-based iPad apps, which we have now sent to the European Patent Office with our names as co-inventors.

Matthew Rippon (BHP Innovate) surely can’t be serious when he proposes an iDad:

“A pocket sized middle aged android fully equipped with slippers, pipe etc (completely customisable) with a series of speech snippets issued forth following a tap on the head, such as:

• "Why couldn't you have been a proper lawyer like your cousin Frida?"

• "In my day, you'd never have seen skirts that length in the office"

• "Work-life balance sounds like a hippie excuse for skiving off when you should be at work".

The Kats suspect that Matthew is speaking from the heart …

Dirk Poot describes his entry as a “hands-down winner, savvy, dead effective and ultracool indeed: a stylish black CC shirt”, depicted on the right.  The IPKat assumes that this is a reference to "Collective Commons" and not "Clifford Chance" ...

Rebecca Tilbury (Harrison Goddard Foote), having sternly reminded the Kat crew that she missed out on the previous competition, offers the smart and savvy female (or male!) intellectual property lawyer is “a pair of red soled Christian Louboutin shoes because (1) they are the real thing and not a counterfeit pair so setting by example, (2) wearing such uber trendy and celeb shoes shows clients that you will really stamp down on infringers, but knowing how to rock style at the same time, (3) the brand name is French, how could anyone not presume you were stylish and brand-aware, (4) if any infringers do not obey, you can simply be dead effective with your five inch heels instead and truly be a “kick ass” lawyer, (5) because your worth it and finally (5) just because ...”.

Like Rebecca, Isabel Unwin (Dehns) also exercised a good deal of effort on matters of detail with her two entries:

“My first idea for next year's "must-have" accessory for the smart and savvy female intellectual property lawyer is a pashmina in next season's camel colour . This is not any old scarf as it will be imprinted with excerpts from the 1949 Registered Designs Act, the 1994 Trade Marks Act or the 1977 Patents Act. She can use this camel cover as a shawl, scarf or reference, leaving others in awe and admiration of her.

Another idea did occur to me on reading this month's Vogue. Jewellery is now considered to be a fashion item just like clothes are. What better accessory for the female intellectual property lawyer is there than a multi-functional charm bracelet? Slick and understated in line with the new minimalist, this bracelet enables useful charms like mini projectors (encased in silver or gold, with or without gems) or mini dictaphones to be attached. The charms are smaller than the size of a pound coin and work via bluetooth or by simply plugging the bracelet into a laptop. They can be customised to suit the style of the wearer for that added edge. Other charms can be developed by the many clients this bracelet-wearing lawyer attracts.

Both accessories look great, are functional and range from very affordable to luxuriously expensive. (The luxuriously expensive ones are for the male IP lawyer's wives. The female IP lawyer doesn't want to scare her clients off). I hope to receive your order for both of these products when they arrive on the market”.

An entrant known only as Tim but whom the Kat suspects of being a client, writes: “The next must-have accessory for the IP lawyer should be a pair of slimming briefs, since slimmer briefs might one day lead to slimmer bills”.

Honourable mentions also go to Sang Nkhwazi (Mancunium IP), whose bouncy prose might win him a Pulitzer or Man Booker Prize if only he can be persuaded to give up his day job for a career in literature, and to the Wardblawgger Gavin Ward, for his sheer enthusiasm.

The winner: Cat(therine) Slater (Serjeants) suggests that “the successful IP lawyer will be wearing a new perfume/aftershave soon to launch with a marketing campaign devised by Lord Justice Jacob: “L’Oréal … beyond the wildest dreams of the poor” [If this allusion needs explanation, see Jacob LJ's comments in L’Oréal v Bellure, noted here by the IPKat]”.  Cat also submitted a nearly-invisible illustration (right) of two shirts, one bearing the legend" I'm appealing ..." and the other continuing with "... to the General Court", the place where so many Community trade mark issues are either imperiously swept aside as being unsustainable or over-analysed to a degree of complexity which would make a philosopher panic.

Well done, Cat! And thanks, everyone else, for your efforts!