Forget Jurassic Park -- here comes the Tyranno-Suar

Uruguay soccer star Luis Suárez currently earns £200,000 a week as a Liverpool FC football player (that's US$339,000 or 249,000 uro). In addition, his sponsorship deals (most recently with 888 Poker) are believed to bring in a not inconsiderable sum.  By now, almost everyone on the planet is likely to have heard that this talented man has a great appetite for football but that, alas, his appetite does not stop there. He now faces disciplinary proceedings in the FIFA World Cup after biting Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini yesterday. There is speculation that sportswear and equipment brand adidas may not be thrilled by this news, having already cautioned their star for taking a nibble at Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic last year.

Suarez and his All-Bran

Merpel, reading about how much Suarez earns and how utterly corrupt FIFA appears to be (her recent online search of FIFA + corruption yielded over 24 million hits), wonders whether this little spat might be easily resolved between the footballer and the organisers.  It shouldn't be difficult to exonerate this bankable individual and make sure that charges of professional misconduct are brought instead against Chiellini for (i) displaying an edible shoulder in the course of play and (ii) wearing toothmarks that have not been approved by the World Cup's official sponsors.  She notes, by the by, that an expression which is frequently used by sports commentators, when observing the writhings and apparent death-throes of fit and healthy athletes who have been inadvertently tapped on the ankle by a member of the opposing team is that the latter are "making a meal of it". How strange it is to think of this expression being more apt to describe the activities of the aggressor than the victim.

This Kat is more interested in Suarez's potential as a marketing asset even in the event that he is reprimanded by FIFA and loses his existing sponsors. He notices that the words TYRANNO-SUAR and TYRANNO-SUAREZ do not yet appear to be registered as trade marks on any of the registers he has perused.  He also speculates over the possibility of coming up with some attractive and potentially IP-protectable slogans to go with Suarez's commercial activities (eg "Put more bite into your product"). Which brands might now positively seek out this cheerful, good-looking piranha player on account of his reputation? Readers: over to you!