From October 2016 to March 2017 the team is joined by Guest Kats Rosie Burbidge and Eibhlin Vardy, and by InternKats Verónica Rodríguez Arguijo, Tian Lu and Hayleigh Bosher.

Friday, 1 April 2016

Press Release: IPKat Announces IPO

As Chief Economist of the IPKat, I am delighted to announce that we have decided to take the next step to grow the IPKat: go paw-blic.

Licensing our future
Image created via Spreadshirt
"I wish I'd bought IPKat shares"
- Lair-y Page, 2017
Photo by Stansfield PL
The IPKat, Inc. is offering 10,000 shares of Class A common stock.  This is our Initial Public Offuring (IPO) and no public market currently exists for these stocks.  We anticipate that the IPO price will be between £25 and £30 per share. The shares are expected to trade on the Mew York Stock Exchange on August 8, 2016 under the ticker symbol IPKT.

Business Strategy
Recognising the growth in niche markets, the IPKat has decided to create a niche market. Using a top-down strategy to uniquely customize multidisciplinary imperatives, the IPKat will amplify its digital pawprint. We're going feral.

Talent
The future of IPKat is holistic.  One of our top in-house prior-artists, Merpel, is expected to make her real-world debut in IP's Next Top Cat.  We envision strong growth in this new business line, by cross-pollinating merchandising with an innovative-dubstep album featuring Merpel's lyrical stylings with her group, DJ Mer Pel: Havoc Siameze-E and the IPKats. Merpel's fragrance line, "Heat by Merpel" is envisioned for 2017 targeting the profitable feminine market, with "Heat Panther" aimed at the masculine sector.  Both elixirs will provide that unique Merpel scent-mark, with notes of feline pheromones, an innuendo of TK, and a lingering whisker of catnip.  In anticipation of the roaring success of these products, the IPKat will white-label Heat to large retail outlets such as Katsda, Spaysavers, and Carrefur.

Infringing your claim
Image created via imgflip
Licensing
"The IPKat will transform the world's economy"
Cr-hiss-tine Lagarde
Photo Wikimedia
Review of our current IP holdings indicates great organic potential in the IPKat trademark.  A global, user-centric paradigm will pro-catively facilitate international licensing.  As part of our review of face time, synergistic partnerships will move forward with granular thought leaders. We will think outside the litter box.

Recognising it's meow or never, the IPKat team looks forward to horizontally disrupting our synergy to aggregate user-centric deliverables with the IP stakeholder community.  We've got a good feline about this.

Cat-veats
This press release shall not constitute an offer to sell or the solicitation of an offer to buy, nor shall there be any sale of these securities in any state or jurisdiction in which such offer, solicitation or sale would be unlawful prior to registration or qualification under the securities laws of any such state or jurisdiction.  This press release is tied to the first of April, more details are available here.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

nice one - you had me there for a minute...check the date!

Anonymous said...

Is that an entire squadron of flying pigs I see overhead? (where's my umbrella?)

Wouter Pors said...

Unfortunately, with the Brexit coming up, this Kat's tale might end too early, so I suggest to rather trade on the Isle of Man stock exchange, which will at least for IP purpose remain part of the European Union. In that case, money will be purring in.

Bass Flounder said...

Schon gut, but what will you Kittens feed on? Kettles of fish?

How does your (patented?) business plan intend to monetize your IP assets?

By trolling? Or is it trawling?

And what will be the corporate form? LLP? GmBH? A school of fish?

Subscribe to the IPKat's posts by email here

Just pop your email address into the box and click 'Subscribe':