Here are some of the better entries.
Tom Burt (Abel & Imray) offers what he terms a dreadful effort, adding modestly: "I can truthfully say that it is entirely my own work, and no one else is to blame".
" A: There’s someone at the door, he claims he’s a French bailiff here to gather evidence that you’re infringing someone’s intellectual property rights.
B: So, saisie [= "So!", says he]"Joe Cohen (Collyer Bristow) draws on his professional experience. He writes:
"Patrick Kane (Secret Fireworks) makes reference to another icon of popular culture, though not one you can eat::
Some years ago, I acted for the owners of Kentucky Fried Chicken and had to take steps to stop the owner of a small chicken outlet in South London using the name “Ken’s Tuck In Fried Chicken”. I cannot remember the name of the ‘originator’, but I doubt it was Ken!"
"The producers of Knight Rider sought an injunction in the High Court today to prevent a manufacturer from producing an action figure and toy car product based upon the series. Lawyers maintained it was a textbook case of passing Hoff."Joanne Giesser (DSM) showed that her talents extend beyond the dull and prosaic world of patents and into the vivid arena of drama:
"In my copious spare time when not being a patent lawyer, I design sets and props for Fringe theatre under the name “Intellectual Propery”".
Lisa Stiff (IP Co-ordinator Morgan Lloyd Administration Limited) opted for a more visual wordplay. To her credit, she does describe her effort as "pretty terrible"::
"(1) How can you obtain IP protection for leather? Isn't the patent obvious? (2) Is Starbucks a trade mark or a coffee right?"
"Says one trade mark attorney to another: ‘Oh look! OHIM have changed the CTM online application process so that the alphabetical list is automatically added to the specification if you want it to be. That’ll save time!’ Second TM attorney: ‘How Nice’".The irrepressible Sally Cooper is never going to be kept out of the action. She asks:
"Have you heard about the Trade mark attorney and the percussionist who loved the clashing of [symbols / cymbals]? Or about the hairdresser with a business called InFringe and her friend the (very new) trainee who wonders whether Absolute Grounds and Relative Grounds might be different strengths of coffee? Not to mention the trade mark attorney and the nail-technician who were talking over their filings ...?""I hope the other entries are better than these", Sally concluded. We did too ...
"I refer you to the patent attorney who wanted to call Marat, the Emperor Maximilian and Saint Sebastian as expert witnesses ... on the ground that they were all persons killed in the art".Eddie Cameron (Zec Music Ltd) came up with various lines of which this was the best:
So which is the winner? None of the above. For sheer good-humoured cheek, the prize goes to none other than Andrew Robinson (Pirate Party UK):
"Mrs Justice Proudman: butter wouldn't Meltwater in her mouth"
"Sorry for not submitting any particularly hilarious entries to this competition, but I've been busy dealing with a burglary at home. All my kitchen worktops were stolen last week. The police have said I might be the victim of counter fitters".Grampa. Well done, Andrew, a copy of the 6th and latest edition of the Butterworths E-Commerce and Information Technology Law Handbook, edited by this Kat, will shortly be on its way to you -- unless you beg us to send it elsewhere!