The Euro: time for a rebrand?

Europe's most pervasive currency is the euro.  As most readers of this weblog will be aware, the euro is coming in for quite a battering these days. It seems that most euros, whatever their provenance, are destined to shore up the Greek national debt -- a sort of Black Hole from which no money returns.  Greece is but one of a number of euro-hungry jurisdictions known collectively as the PIGS (Portugal, Ireland -- or should that be Italy now? -- Greece and Spain).  It is well known that real pigs have a voracious appetite for food in much the same way as the Eurozone PIGS hungrily consume cash. A major difference, though, is that biological pigs can be profitably smoked, stewed, barbecued and even skinned for their leather by those who have fattened them up, an option which is not open to those who feed the PIGS today.

Investors are, it seems, reluctant to buy euros; this reluctance has prompted at least one commentator to observe that the euro has a bad name.  This set the IPKat thinking.

The Rape of Europa, by François Boucher (c.1732-4)

Of course the euro has a bad name.  It is a bad name.  The word "euro" is a lazy choice for an important currency, being a ubiquitous and non-distinctive prefix which is attached to everything European, but detached from the lovely Europa -- who had a pretty tough time with some of the PIGS herself. This beautiful Phoenician princess of Greek mythology was abducted and raped by Zeus; subsequently, when Greek mythology was adopted and rewritten by the Romans, she was abducted and raped by Zeus. This Kat, who has generally favoured the concept of a single European currency, has never liked its name. It's a bit like Canada calling its currency the "can", Argentina opting for the "arge" or Botswana the "bot".

Says the IPKat, the first step in the rehabilitation of Europe's currency is to give it a fresh name and a new image, to divorce it from the euro's mythological mire and to distance it from its present discomfort.  To this end, this Kat offers as a prize a beautiful new copy of the Butterworths Intellectual Property Law Handbook, 10th edition, of which he is Consultant Editor, to whoever comes up with the best suggestion for a new name for the European currency together with an explanation -- in not more than 30 words -- of why it is appropriate.  Multiple entries are allowed. Please email your suggestions to the IPKat here with the subject line "Not the euro", to arrive not later than midnight (Greenwich Mean Time) on Sunday 13 November.  The only stipulations are that the suggested name must not be (i) a famous trade mark (eg "The Google" or the "Coca-Cola"), (ii) a rude word or term of abuse in any of the official languages of the countries of the Eurozone or (iii) the name of a politician (eg "The Sarkozy" or "The Berlusconi") [Merpel is pleased about this, since she is already fed up of people writing to her and asking her to bail them out, believing that her name is "Merkel"].